All it takes was just a smile

Some people needed to be scolded to wake up .
Some people needed to be hurt to wake up .

But all some people need was just recognition .

After months and years of complaining . After reading all those posts and pictures about how great our parents are , I was giving in to reality . I know I love them . But what I hated was how they treated me . I was devastated . I was dumbfounded . "How could they ever treat me this way ?", "My life was unfair." , "my life sucks ." Minutes passed after and I was regretting all of my actions . But things like this just keeps repeating itself . I've always been out late , hating whatever I have . Trying to avoid everything ... But the only thing I've never realized throughout all this was ,

They miss me .

Today , like few days back , the haze is hitting hard . I thought "are they all alright? They're working in the haze without mask. Please keep them safe cause I love them" .
Dad came home feeling very tired whereas me , was feeling so lazy and stressed that I'm home . I was so mad he ordered me around . Then he started joking to us and suddenly , he smiled at me . I was shocked cause it's probably a few years since I saw him smiled , at me . I stared hard at him and thought to myself "his weary eyes from working all day , he lost a tooth which I didn't even noticed cause I haven't been seeing him . I failed my duty as a daughter , so much . Mum has been asking for hugs the last week due to strength , and I wasn't sure of how to give it to her . I'm a loser"

Dad told me to help him with his phone , to insert songs into his memory card , to come home for dinner , to stay at home . Mum told me to be home for dinner , to stay home . All these cause they miss me . And they wants to spend more time with me but Yet all I thought was that why were they restricting me from going out .

I ran back to my room and cry so badly .

So I went to get some chores done before hiding back into the room as I can't control my tears . A knock came on my door , "hurry out to finish your dinner. Its gonna turn cold" "ok" that's all I can say , ok .. before the tears fall off my face .

I'm sorry for everything dad . I'm sorry for everything mum . I love you 2 ♡

Double trouble

I feel so unfair . I don't know how I should put it . Am I doing something wrong somewhere ? Why do I have to endure all these nonsense and suck up to all these ?? Why do I have to be the one doing everything . Can't you do something ??
It seems as thou I'm the only one fighting the battle for us . You're not doing anything about them and blame me when they're wrong ? Fuck this shit man . I get treated like maid everywhere . I hate it . Alot . From young . From home . Now teens . Now school .

Ya fuck my whole fucking life k ?

I wish someone would fucking stand up for me . Not sit there and pretend . Stand up for me . Tell me I'm worth it all . Shut them up . Speak up for me . Someone ....

Record breaking days

So Thursday was the last week of school for the week and shaun booked out . As usual , supper with 'em . And midnight movie (The great gatsby) from like 12.10am . And I reached home at like 3am :/

And today , vesak day . Woke up and head off to albert Street with mummy , sistsy and bro . Bought boyf his long wanted ipod touch (most expensive gift i bought for anyone ever ! Record) before cabbing down and prepare for bbq @ cheryl's . And yupp . Bbq started at like 9 ? Hahah . Ended at 12mn . Uno-ed before deciding to head to prawning . Sp vroom vroom . Me in baby's car while wh and evelyn head off in bh's car . Tailgating is so difficult man :( And yupp . The prawns were celebrating vesak as well . So off we go to bh to lepak . Left at 3.50am . And so , time is 4.25am . I just alighted from bby's car (record maximum) . And daddy don't even know I'm not home . I'm so.screwed man . Fmlll :(

Took off from work as well . Would have died if I work tmr . Hahahaha . Oh and did I mention the bbq stuffs cost more than 200bux . For just 6 people . Woahh . Craziesy shit man . Hahah . (Record for most expensive meal) also we like wasted alot of food . Sigh

So tired . Good night ...

-edited at 15:32-
Just woke up . Record breaking again . Whoops