483 , agony

I swear it sucks , to be the fucking middle child . It fucking sucks to know there's not a single soul you can totally count on at home . It sucks to know your dad ain't always home , your mum never listen to you . It fucking sucks to not receive any fucking attention at home . It fucking sucks to know that despite having 3 kids at home you're the one th chide most , you're the one they boss most and you're th freaking one they never notice most . Elder one's graduating , bright future . Youngest one's having his psle , and I'm not fucking near anywhere .

I'll be frank , I hated home .
I never wanted to reach home early , I got scoldings . Then I went gone earlier , I got piles of chores to do . I worked and study , just to avoid home . Went out with boyf and friends just to avoid home . Family quarrels almost everyday . No one in the house even really respected you . I fucking hated this . I even planned running away from home with my friends . But I was gutless . I was worried about my family .

Times and times , I really tell myself I want to change . And i'm tryin my fuckin best . I woke up early cause I couldn't sleep but mum just had to give me the "chores list" . If I didn't wake up early , she'll make a din . What the fuck is wrong with this fckin world ?! Asked to do this , and do that . Been telling you guys I fucking cannot watch my FCKING show of you guy keep on with th fucking loud voices . Not once not twice but ample time and you got the fucking cheek to scold me ?! To fuckingly ask me to scram to my room ?! So I said there wasn't any fuckin table . You said you bought a fucking table for me . Since the fuck when you saw so ?! You fuckingly said that red table was for bro -.- so fuck it . I remember fuckig clearly asking you for that fucking Jibai table on 4feb when boyf can over on cny -.- knn , you still tell me th table is too small and ask me to take th other table instead -.- now you tell me this sort of fucking shxt ?! Seriously , I don't know what the fuck are you thinking about .

I fucking wanna respect you , but you yourself is not giving me the fucking chance to -.- you said you've been tolerating me , you know me fucking well , you said you'll love me more . FUCKING BULLSHXT ! Stop fuxking vent your anger on me -.- I'm not your puppet , I'm your daughter for your fucking info -.-

I'm trying to treat you well , stop fucking piss me off -.-

482 , Happy Valentines day

Happy Valentines day dear (L) hope you like the two videos and the two "mission" (L)

Happy valentines guys ! ^^

481 , bit of this and that

ever wonder how it would be like if everything goes the way you wanted ? i believe everyone bears this thought , or maybe having the so called "if only" thought . wouldn't things be great you thought ?

you're wrong then .

the reason we cant get what we wanted was cause we've to strive hard for our lifes , for our future generation too ! enjoy now work harder in the future , work hard now , enjoy the future . which would you prefer ? life's never easy , everyday you'll be facing different doubts , different question asked . "what should i have for lunch?" , "what should i do first?" "which transport should i take". we faced challenges every now and then , eg, exams , test , conflicts . what we're doing now , is important . even if you think "What for learn this ? i won't be using it in the near future either!" can you predict life ? no you can't , no ones really knows what will happen in the future . Unless you're really some gifted person , then i've nothing to say .

Have you even wondered how unfair life is ? that no one can understand you ? no one feels you ?

You're wrong too .

What makes you so sure no one else is suffering more than you ? or suffering the same way you do ? can you read his/her thoughts ? how sure can you be ? how do you know that he/she is not putting on a fake front ? HOW ??
i resented people who does this . but i am one myself . i'm a rather negative person . i put others before me . i always put the blame on myself . but look , if not one does , what would the world be coming to ? we're all born takers , but it doesn't mean we cant give don't we ? who knows , you'll make someone day by giving . learn to observe , learn to see . you can be a taker . at the same time you can , yourself be a giver . its heart warming to know you're th reason behind his/her smile .
smile more too ! you won't know , that might make someone's day too !

withlovez ,